A Little Communication on Communication

There is one thing I know better than anyone else in the game. There is one thing that I am a virtual expert. I know how I feel. I know how I feel when I communicate. I know when the communication is positive, productive, entertaining, and most of all, I know when it is negative. You also know how you feel about your communication better than anyone else. Our feelings are the one thing in which we are all experts.

In terms of game communication, I have been in games of various communication intensity, from little communication, to a well run team of highly communicative players. There is no comparison, a team that communicates poorly, plays poorly. So to win, you must communicate, both with your allies and with prospective neutrals. And in order to communicate, you must know how to communicate.

There are many different forms of communication. The obvious form of communication at the start of the game is the 3x5 card. I type up messages in approximate 3x5 size on my word processor instead of using cards. You would be surprised how much information can be put on such a communiqué. I have seen one total genius of a player type up such a note and then use small print to get even more information on it. Another side benefit of using paper instead of 3x5 cards is reduced weight. Be careful about postage if you are sending several cards. Despite all of these suggestions, make no mistake that 3x5s are a good form of communication, they are not. Cards can only impart information, and that information can often be outdated by the time it is received. Feedback is limited and usually received too late.

Usually in the initial 3x5 card sent off at the start of the game, the experienced player will give the other information which is even more effective than the 3x5 cards. This information, of course, will be addresses, telephone numbers, fax numbers, and electronic mailing addresses.

Telephone calls are very effective forms of communication, but do have serious drawbacks. One very real drawback is the cost. Please remember that some players very often have a hard time getting together the cost of their turns. A few long distance calls would hurt financially. If you have a preference for using the telephone solely, be courteous and try to determine who can afford to call you. For those who cannot, make other arrangements. Call them, or use another form of communication.

Cost is not the only drawback of using the telephone. People have different schedules. Some people work nights. For them a daytime telephone call is like calling in the middle of the night. People are often not at home, and your telephone may turn into a quick message on an answering machine. Let me tell you, more information can be put on a 3x5 card than on a person's answering machine.

In addition to cost and scheduling, by using the telephone you must overcome the listening factor. Most people are poor listeners. At best, retention is even less, and, in case you were not listening--most people are poor listeners. Therefore much of what is said in a telephone conversation is lost. Just ask yourself--how much can you remember about your last telephone call? How about your last conversation with a teammate you have not spoken to in a few weeks? Also, some conversations have a tendency to drift outside of game parameters. This is fine, I enjoy getting to know the other players, I find I have very much in common with them, but you may miss vital points and therefore be ineffective because you are chatting about things other than the game. So when you make your call, be prepared. Have an agenda of information you need to impart. Take notes so you will remember what is discussed. Your teammate may be counting on you to do something. You may not remember to do it if is not important to you, but they will remember if you failed to do it. Encourage your teammate to also take notes and be prepared for conversations. And watch the time so you don't have to pawn the family jewels to pay the telephone bill.

A real good idea is to follow up your conversation with a letter or 3x5 on the major points. This will reinforce what was discussed. Not only on the other players part when they receive your note, but also on your part when you write down the information.

Despite all these drawbacks, telephone calls remain a very effective form of communication. You can exchange information quickly and therefore react quickly. You can exchange a tremendous amount of information in a short period of time. And you can do something with a telephone call that cannot be done easily with other forms of communication--you can make important discoveries and discuss them before they become disasters, or use them for game winning moves.

Letters are very interesting and enhance the fun of the game. With letters you can add a gaming flair. Getting a telephone call from Joe is good and effective, but getting a letter from Gothmog is most exciting. I have received letters from some players who can put such a fine tone on their correspondence as to make you think Nazguls are real. No one has ever put a "chill on my spine" with a telephone call, but I received more than a few letters in my time that really have added to the game. As evidence of the value of a letter to the entertainment of a game I only have to ask my non-gaming friends. They are really not interested when I talk about the game, but many of them routinely ask to read my latest letters from a foe.

Besides entertainment, in certain circumstances letters are more effective than telephone calls. Have you ever tried to send a copy of a map over a telephone? So what if you are told where an enemy army is, what if you are not familiar with the surrounding population centers? What if the other person didn't tell you about a few important facts about the map that they felt were unimportant? Add then there are new players. Instructions to new players are much more effective in a letter. I often refer to letters on important facts that were sent to me by my game mentors. Often they prove invaluable. Unlike telephone calls where a person will often fail to retain much of the information, a letter can be referred to over and over again.

Fax machines and the internet combine the swiftness of the telephone and the benefits of a letter. One drawback of using a fax machine to communicate with other players is that they too must have a fax machine. Very few people have fax machines. E-mail on the other hand is quite common, but not everyone has it.

I have explained many of the forms of communication used in the game, but what I really want to address is how they should be used. The first and most important element is that they in fact be used. Winning a game because the other side does not communicate is somewhat disappointing. The game is entertaining because it is a challenge in conflict. People love challenge, and conflict is emotionally intense. To simply walk over the other side to an easy victory often leaves some players bored. On the other hand, it is very frustrating to loose because your allies will not coordinate. I have seen neutrals join the underdogs in a game because "it will make the game more interesting." Now if both sides are communicating well, and therefore playing well, the game should be much more fun.

The new player must be taken into consideration. As we all know, you can learn the rules without help, but you are hard pressed to use them effectively. Communication with the new player is a must because they need help. Of course, they don't know they need help. And they don't know they need to communicate, or they may be too shy to communicate. You want your rookie ally to help the team, and we all want players to have a good time and keep playing the game. So do your best to communicate with the new players. New players, do your best to communicate with your teammates, after all, it is your nation that is at stake.

After agreeing that communication between players is a good and desirable thing, the second point is that it should be effective. To be effective your communication must be positive.

For example, have you ever received a 3x5 card from your ally at the start of a game with only an internet number, and you do not have access to the internet. I know many players who do not use the internet. They all feel the same about such cards and are very outspoken about their feelings. They do not like them. They feel they are being told "if you do not have access to the internet, you are not worth speaking to." I realize that is not the intention of the other player, but here is my point-- communication is a subtle thing and you can easily impart a message that you do not intend to impart. You may not think you are sending a negative message, but you very well may be doing just that. The very same message is given to a lesser extent by players who only send telephone numbers, or addresses. Many people do not have E-mail, but everyone probably has an address or a telephone number. But do not assume that. Many players in the military for instance may not have a telephone readily available. Perhaps the only way to communicate with them is by 3x5 or a letter. Knowing that, would you be more inclined to accommodate them? Therefore, give a variety of communication methods if you can. Explain what method you prefer and your reasons for that preference. If you want to give your telephone number but cannot afford to make lengthy long distance calls say so. The other player should understand to call you. Try to be considerate to the other player's wishes. If they really prefer a certain method, you will have to decide to meet that person's preference, or use 3x5 cards. But never halt communication. Remember, things change. The person who cannot afford telephone calls may suddenly be in a financial position to do so. Or the reverse may also apply. A person may get on the internet when they did not have it a few turns ago. A person may decide they like to write letters. You never know. Just keep in contact with them.

Another consideration on being positive is to be careful on your role-playing. People are becoming very concerned in our society about violence and behavior. Certain role playing games have poor reputations. These reputations are unfounded, and have actually been seen to be beneficial in many studies published in psychological journals. However, most people do not read psychological journals, or play these types of games. They prefer to believe hearsay. They react to reputation rather than fact. So do not add fuel to any fires. Definitely role play in your communication, but do it in a style which cannot be judged improper. You really do not have to worry so much about other players, but you never know who might be reading your communication and what influence that person has over the player.

Another mistake is the self proclaimed leader type. Try not to make demands of other players, make requests. Do not tell them what to do, ask if they could do it. Explain why they should do it. Explain how to do it. How persuasive you are depends on your ability to communicate, and practice makes perfect. It is good to have a coordinator in the game, and if you want to be the leader, be persuasive, not demanding. If you want someone to do something for you ask if they can do it, and then ask if they would do it. Don't tell them to do it. There is a word for this--DIPLOMACY. Leaders are made by getting others to follow , not by being tyrannical.

Definitely avoid insulting people. You will find that one unintended insult can really hurt someone's feelings. If you hurt someone's feelings they will remember it. You may not have thought it was significant, but they may have. And they probably will not confront you about it. It will just simmer on their minds and when you need them, they may be really unlikely to go out of their way for you. This is bad enough for an ally, think how it will affect your relations with a neutral. Of course what I mean by insults is not a barb or jab as in Whispers in the Wood, I am referring to a personal attack on that person. If a person cannot afford to make telephone calls, do not criticize them for it. If a person has an aversion to writing letters, accept it. If they do not have E-mail, so what? If they are new, help them. If they are confused about their strategy, persuade them to come around, but don't make them feel stupid. But above all, they run their nation, they make the final call.

As I already mentioned, the most important point is to communicate, but what about the player that is reluctant to communicate? If you have not heard from someone, and you can see they are active, you just have to keep trying. They will receive your 3x5s. Make your communication interesting to them. Bait them into communicating with you by peaking their interest. Make them look forward to getting that 3x5 and ALWAYS express how much you want to communicate with them. Eventually they will communicate with you, or, you may see positive results in their movements. Always remember the new player may be shy, keep trying and you will eventually break the ice.

Another point is that some people feel uncomfortable giving out addresses and telephone numbers. Or, they may not want to communicate for some reason. As I have already mentioned, they still get your 3x5 cards.

Let me offer some suggestions on a communication strategy for you and your team:

• Send off 3x5s to everyone you want to communicate with as soon as possible. Preferably with your first turn. Indicate what means are available to you to communicate ( telephone numbers, addresses etc. ) , and which methods you prefer and why you prefer that method.

• Respond to those 3x5s and set up a dialogue. Try to accommodate another person's communication style if possible, but communicate in some way if not possible.

• Prepare for telephone conversations, encourage the other player to do likewise, and give them time to do just that. Have a set time to call, or call them, give them a few minutes to prepare , and call back.

• Follow up conversations with notes or letters so that plans will not be forgotten. Do not agree to do things which you may not be able to do.

• Have a coordinator or two, usually someone who can easily adapt to everyone's communication style. If expenses for phone calls are a problem, pool the money into the coordinator who makes all the calls. It will be the responsibility of the coordinator to use the money effectively or fund the expenses of the overrun. Please, if you do pool money for a coordinator, be responsible about payment. Better, if you do this, everyone pay the coordinator an agreed upon amount for expenses in advance ( say $10 a month ). A better way might be to agree to have the coordinator call collect.

• Have the coordinator act as a spokesman for negotiating with neutrals. Of course everyone advise the neutral of this authority. It would really impress me to see an alliance having that much coordination if I was a neutral.

• If you have a player on your team who will not communicate ( and the position is active ) keep trying. They will eventually communicate, either when you persuaded them, or the enemy does. So why not get to it? Improve your gaming success by improving your communication. Communicate with your allies, the neutrals, even your enemies. And when you do, tell them all about Whispers of the Wood and that ... " Willy Boy was here ! "